boundless compassion

i've heard it said that if you don't slow down, god will find a way to slow you down. that doesn't make a whole lotta sense when i think theologically but it sure makes sense in my current situation. besides a few basic errands, i haven't been able to leave the house much since gettin back from tennessee. one trip i did make was to the doctor...apparently I have giardia...google it...or just know it's a stomach parasite that causes really bad cramps/pains and diarrhea (yeah, I know, TMI).

i had a lot planned for the nine days between tennessee and my trip to

guatemala, it's just how i roll...i'm always doing something. in fact, a few of my friends recently started calling me the energizer bunny...ha. anyways, somewhere buried in my to-do list was learning how to "slow down" and build "margin" in my life (thanks to my pastor, stephen redden, and a spiritual life class i'm helping teach this summer). whatta coincidence, huh?

probably because there's no better way for me to learn then through experience, i've been forced to slow down. and during this time i've done a lot of reflecting and reading. its been an amazing experience that has brought so much to the surface...and i was able to finish reading "abba's child" by brennan manning. it's really good, you should read it. here's an excerpt that really stood out to me (pages 128-129):

"upon being told by her sister martha that jesus had arrived in bethany and wanted to see her, mary got up quickly and went to him (john 11:29).

mary of magdalene is heartbroken and tearful when she finds the tomb empty. at the moment of recognition when jesus calls her name, she clung to him--"do not cling to me, because i have not yet ascended to the father" (20:17).

as soon as peter and john receive word of the empty tomb, they ran together to the garden, but the other disciple, runner faster then peter, reached the tomb first (20:3-4).

peter, the denier of jesus, a failure as a friend in the hour of crisis, a coward in his soul before the servant-girl in the courtyard, jumped into the water almost naked once john told him jesus was on shore. "at these words 'it is the lord,' simon peter, who had practically nothing on, wrapped his cloak round him and jumped into the water" (21:7). john notes that the boat was about a hundred yards offshore.

these biblical characters, however clean or tawdry their personal histories may

have been, are not paralyzed by the past in their present response to jesus. tossing aside self-consciousness they ran, clung, jumped, and raced to him. peter denied him and deserted him, but he was not afraid of him.

suppose for a moment that in a flash of insight you discovered that all your motives for ministry were essentially egocentric, or suppose that last night you got drunk and committed adultery, or suppose that you failed to respond to a cry for help and the person committed suicide. what would you do?

would guilt, self-condemnation, and self-hatred consume you, or would you jump into the water and swim a hundred yards at breakneck speed towards jesus? haunted by the feelings of unworthiness, would you allow the darkness to overcome you or would you let jesus be who he is--a saviour of boundless compassion and infinite patience, a lover who keeps no score of our wrongs?"

so, what will you do?

god is love, nothing is impossible.