Saturday, December 10, 2011

a community i love, sexual integrity group

do you ever find yourself lonely?  like you just need someone to get you?  and really accept you?  me too.  

shortly after becoming a christian i went on the world race.  from the start of training camp they started talking about "community" and how we would be living in it for eleven months.  i didn't understand this community term too well.  but, yeah, we lived in "community" and did everything together.  in fact, we couldn't go anywhere alone.  for eleven months.  when i was out there, i hated community.  but i also loved it.

i recently realized i missed community.  i missed a group of people who knew all my stuff.  who held me accountable.  who pushed me to be a better person.  then it hit me, i was flat out lonely.  i had a lotta friends but didn't really have people who knew me.  like, who really knew me.   
photo credit: bede mckenna (creative commons)

i needed community in my life.... so, i started praying for it.  and i actively sought it out.  i realized community wasn't just gonna happen, i'd have to take steps to make it happen.  in august, at the beginning of the semester, i stepped out on a limb and joined a men's sexual integrity group at denver seminary.  it's been amazing and i give huge props to denver seminary for promoting this kind of group.  there's 12 of us in the group and each week we have a check in on our week and each week someone shares their story.

at this point in the semester, everyone has shared their story.  and when i say share their story, i mean we've shared all of our story.  we've shared parts of our stories that no one's ever heard about.  and we've shared parts that we swore we'd never share with anyone.  and we just love each other.

let me just tell you, there's something absolutely amazing about sharing your story to those depths.  it's amazing that, after i told my story, i felt fully accepted, loved, and known.  and to feel those things is a beautiful example of god's grace on earth.

in my experience, people fear community, they're afraid of being vulnerable, and they're full of shame and guilt (or maybe that's just me).  BUT, in community is where hyou truly experience freedom and god's grace.  i became a christian when i was 25 and didn't care about god before that i know what it's like to experience god and this freedom, i'm passionate about sharing my story and living in community so that we can encourage others and help hold each other accountable.

a community i love is my men's sexual integrity group at denver seminary.

what about you?  what's a community that you love?


  1. a couple of brave dudes hit me up with some questions about sexual integrity. heres an excellent resource for more information:

  2. thanks for sharing this Dan...and giving us all permission to admit we feel the same way. Yeah...miss community...going after it.

  3. i recently joined a new church/bible study/prayer group. it's the perfect combination of world race me and now me. and for the first time since the race i have people to talk to about struggles, jobs, life, praises, guys, etc. i once thought i'd never have people like i did on the race, and it's all still new so it's still not the exact same, but i can honestly say i've never been happier with life (normal life)and they're a big reason for it.

  4. Totally. There is something about these kinds of groups that promote full disclosure. Something you just can't get in a church small group or Bible study. I started going to Recovery at a church here in Austin. It's a 12 step program for whatever sin ails you. I cry pretty much every Monday at this group because people bare it all. They share their stories and are brave enough to tell the yucky stuff. It's a place where I feel free to be completely honest about my struggles and still be leader in Christian ministry. And when I've shared some things I was embarrassed about, I just got looks that said, "Yeah, I get that. Me too." I'm just completely in love with everyone there and that feels so good!