Marriage and the Simple Life

If ya didn't hear, I got married 2.5 months ago. It's been awesome. 

My wife and I come from very different backgrounds and family dynamics so it's been fun to get to figure out our routines, lifestyle, decisions, etc. together. 

That said, even while we were dating we decided that we both desire to live simple lives. We decided to start living a simple life right from the very start and did our best to keep our wedding ceremony simple and cheap (it's possible!!). 

The desire to live simply has continued to grow in both of us and was brought to the next level when some friends of ours, who share a similar passion, invited us to start reading a book together. The book, Almost Amish has been really great and has challenged us in numerous ways. 

Here's a list of things that Britt and I have decided to implement together:

• Budget. We don't really have a choice here, we're living off my income while she finishes up graduate school. But here's what happens each time we get paid: give, save, spend. We give above our comfort level but that's what we felt God wanted us to do. And, we've loved the ease of Mint as our budgeting platform.

• Electronics. We choose to put away electronics on a regular basis. We leave them home when we run errands together or go out together. I made the decision to disable email on my phone which is hard but worth it. Britt is naturally good at this and we're both pretty good accountability partners to assure that we don't sit around aimlessly surfing the net. 

• Laundry. We don't own a washer and dryer and do coin operated laundry at our condo complex. But, we decided to stop drying our clothes, spend $5 on parachute cord, and hang all of our laundry in our 700 square foot condo. It's not convenient -- the drying process is very slow but it teaches us patience. And, it's kind of odd when people come over and we have clothes hanging around but my wife likes to tell people that we're "becoming Amish."

• Food. Britt loves, loves, loves, perusing the weekly ads for grocery deals each week. She's a coupon'er and saves us so much money (just yesterday she saved us $52 at Sprouts via coupons)! We've also decided to eat natural and locally grown foods and are nearly 100% vegan at home. One might assume that I'd freak out eating vegan but I've actually loved it and I feel so much better (I've lost close to 20 pounds)! Lastly, we both love to eat at nice restaurants but we've made the decision to only eat out once a month. It's hard but it helps us appreciate our once a month rhythm even more (and it's made easier by Britt's amazing cooking skills)!

• Schedules. This is probably the thing that we have the hardest time with. We both say yes too often. But, as I heard it put recently, "say no to many small things to say yes to a few big things." So, we're trying our best to de-clutter our schedules in order to do a few big things! 

• Compost. Because we've gone vegan at home, we produce lots of "compostable" waste. We were lamenting that we couldn't really have a compost pile in our rented condo with no yard. But, we asked some friends if we can use theirs and of course they said yes. So, we collect our compost every day in refrigerated bags and bring them to our friends compost pile every ten days or so. 

• Recycling. In our opinion, God loves the earth and we really want it to be around for as long as possible. So, we've taken recycling very seriously. Fortunately, our condo complex offers basic recycling for free. But, we've also tried to cut back on using plastic grocery bags by using reusable grocery bags. That said, we haven't been able to fully cut out plastic bags so we save them and recycle them at a local Sprouts store. 

• Mail. Anytime we get junk mailers or catalogs, I unsubscribe using the following websites: Catalog Choice and DMA Choice. There are two reasons for this: (1) we don't want to be tempted to buy things we don't need and (2) we don't want to waste the paper, ink, etc. It's kind of sad to find an empty mailbox but it's for the better! 

• Clothes. We both have a lot of clothes. So, prior to getting married, we committed to not buying clothes for one year. Britt's been awesome at this. I haven't bought clothes but purchased a new pair of shoes for working at DAM (they were used, via eBay) and a pair of basketball shoes because mine were stolen from my car (they were used, via Craigslist). I really loved this statement from Almost Amish: "If someone else can use it now, why should we store it for someday?" So, we've done our best to give away lots of clothes and have donated four large trash bags of clothes to the Joshua Station in the last couple months.

• De-Cluttering. I'm 30, she's 25...we have a LOT of stuff. So, we've gone through things we haven't used much or at all and we're either selling them online or giving them away. I sold some old motorcycle gear, police gear, and gave away some old cycling stuff. It's nice to make a little extra cash and to make it a habit to de-clutter! 

• Books. We both love our library collection and love to read. But, Britt bought me a Kindle for Christmas so we've decided to not purchase any more books. I've found great and easy ways to rent books on my Kindle through local library's and Britt's too busy reading cook books/recipes or graduate school books to buy any. We've saved a ton of money by eliminating this expense.

• Additional Considerations. One thing that we've had significant discussions about is our TV and cable. We pay a very low price each month for cable which has helped us decide to keep it for the time being -- we just love our sports too much and Britt loves the Food Network. We might decide to cut it soon, though! Another thing we considered but decided to opt out of was a local CSA (community supported agriculture). While we support local and organic foods, we decided it was too expensive and we didn't want to get stuck with produce we wouldn't use. Maybe in the future!  

What about you? What have you done to live a more simplistic life?

my commissioning

when i went to seminary, i had lots of people ask if i was going to have to live in the mountains, alone, and celibate for the rest of my life. no.

okay, i made up the celibate part...no one really asked that but i know lots of people were thinking it.

well, i graduated in december. seminary was awesome. like the world race; i'd recommend everyone do it...but i'd never do it again.

and, if you didn't hear, i was commissioned by new denver church last month.

i admit "commissioned" is a weird word and concept. but, put simply, i was commissioned by the church leaders and church community at ndc into a life of ministry. into a calling of sorts.

if you wanna hear the podcast on the night, you can find it here. it's really good and is made up of four parts: my story, two "charges" from my pastors, and a time of prayer.

the whole night was powerful and meaningful. truly, one of the highlights of my life.

i'd like to share one highlight from the night that brought me to tears, and tears, and tears.

rewind a bit: on one of the darkest and worst nights of my life (but, in retrospect, one of the best)...my life had fallen apart. i was wasted. i didn't know what to do. a million horrible options were going through my mind.

but, ultimately, i landed on calling a close friend. one who i admired. and one who happened to be a christian (i wasn't at the time). i called him...and i was a drunken, crying, and slobbery mess. though i don't remember the exact details of the conversation it went something like this:

me: "dude, my life is over...i don't know what to do (more rambling)" 

chris: "(probably something profound was said here)...i honestly don't know what to say or do...can i pray for you?"

me: "yes, please" (all crying multiplied tenfold)

fast forward to my commissioning service.

chris came.

during the time of prayer...chris came forward to pray over me. it was the first time i'd heard him pray for me since the darkest night of my life...and here he was praying again...on one of the best days of my life. (and all crying multiplied tenfold)

redemption at it's finest.

may we all be bold...and when we don't have the answer, may we turn to the one who does.

(g)race: a poem

i'm in an amazing class at denver seminary right now: social and cultural foundations of counseling. it's stretched me, it's challenged me, and ultimately, i hope,  it's made me a better person.

one of our assignments was to watch the movie crash and develop a creative expression afterwards.  

if you haven't seen it, the movie is powerful. so powerful that it pushed me to write a poem as my form of creative expression.

i'm not a poet. in fact, i don't think i've ever written a poem. i'm just not all that creative (or, better yet...i don't give myself a lot of room to be creative). but here it is:

race.

beautiful

but can be so hurtful.

we judge others based on the exterior,

which makes one of us inferior

and the other “superior.”

but what about the interior?

exquisite, unique

and all desperate for His

beautiful

grace. 

may we all break down the walls of our own biases, our own racism, and our own hate. and may we all draw nearer to the ultimate healer...the one who's color is of water.  

you are not alone

the other day i was hanging with a friend at a local establishment. we were talking about life and he started sharing his recent struggles: marriage, job, relationships, faith.

he's going through a lot. and honestly, i was in over my head. i had no clue what to say, where to start, how to offer hope.

it's part of my job. this idea of listening to people and helping them through life. i love it. but, honestly, i had no clue.

i said a quick prayer as he talked and asked god for some wisdom and guidance. for something to say. some way to offer my friend a sense of hope.

i felt like praying helped but i was still at a loss for words. so, i continued to sit and listen to my friend.

divorce.
new career.
hate.
doubt.

and a couple minutes later, the song "timshel" by mumford and sons came playing through the speakers. i thought it a bit coincidental. and perfect.



so, that's where i started. i offered this piece of hope to my friend:

"you are not alone in this, i've got your back. and more then that, god is with you."

he lost it. he cried. right there at our table.

it didn't solve all his problems...he's still facing them. but after the tears dried...he had a sense of hope.

you see, that's what every one of us needs. a sense of hope...that we're not alone. that someone is willing to hold our hand through the good times and the bad. that someone is willing to love us in the midst of our struggles. when they can't see the light...they're still loved.

may we all look to our left and right and may we look for someone who just needs a friend. who needs a hand to hold. who needs to feel loved. may we be like jesus.

9/11, 11 years later

"dude, wake up...someone's bombing the east coast...the whole coast is on fire."

i was a freshman at the university of northern colorado when my roommate woke me up. i rushed into the living room and sat in front of the TV in awe. i watched the second tower collapse. i watched flames engulf the pentagon. i watched people jumping out of windows.

it was insane.

i was a bit worried because half my family lives on the east coast. fortunately, they were all okay.

photo via

i went to class and my sociology professor dismissed us early. she told us to watch the news because 9/11 was going to the change the course of history. that was an understatement.

i drove to the gas station and waited in the 30 minute line because the media was certain that our oil supply would be cut off.

i went to a candle light vigil that night on campus. it was powerful. i cried.

i went to church for the first time in a long time that weekend. i was scared.

it was one of the first times i came face to face with this cold, hard fact: life is short. it can end at any time. and most of the time, we never know when death will come.

that's a bit scary if i'm honest.

today, i find hope in this simple, yet profound, verse from the message translation of the bible:

"the things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. but the things we can't see now will last forever." -2 corinthians 4:18

we all die. we can spend our life chasing houses, wealth, status, cars, looks, relationships...but they'll be gone the day we die. gone. forever.

yet, we can find hope in this: heaven, jesus, and eternity await us on the other side.

may we all take a moment to reflect today on the senseless tragedy of 9/11 and the loss of life. but may we also take a moment to reflect on our own life today...and the things we're living for...let's not waste the lesson of 9/11.

another heartbreaking phone call

"hey danny...we need your help."  

it's the broken voice of a friend through tears.

i'd like to say that this is the first time i've received this call.  but, unfortunately, it's not.  it's another family torn apart by the grips of addiction.

this time it was a young man who was drunk and in jail.

photo via

a few months ago it was a friend fighting a drug addiction.

a few months before that, a woman in jail on drug charges.

the common theme of all these family members and friends is this: what can i do?  how do i help them?

and, unfortunately, my answer is...you can't.  they have to want change.  it's hard to say that to people i care about.  they basically just have to "let go" of their loved one and hope (maybe even pray) that he/she will eventually hit "rock bottom" and desire change.  desire to quit.  desire to get sober.  desire to get clean.

if i've learned one thing in my life...it's that we all have the ability to change.  we all have the ability to turn our life around...and in my experience, it's best done through a loving relationship with god.

unfortunately, though, a lot of us have to go through some really painful things to get healthy and change. but “certain suffering tears down aspects of our character that need to be torn down and builds up new aspects that we need in order to live as we were designed to live" (cloud and townsend, how people grow).

i'm not an expert, but that's what it took in my life.  pain.  suffering.  rock bottom.

granted, my story is a little different: most didn't know i was struggling as much as i was struggling with the booze...but i tried to get help, i went to doctors, i went to group therapy, i took medication, i went to counselors...none of it made a long lasting difference until i finally hit rock bottom and made a decision: i needed help.  i wanted help.  i wanted a different life.

photo via

and let me tell you, rock bottom, is a horrible spot to be in.  but at the same time, it's the best spot to be in.  

it's horrible because i was 25, staring up the rock-face of a mountain called sobriety.  i thought there was no way i could even muster the strength to take one or two steps up the mountain...there was absolutely no way in the world i could stay sober for the rest of my life.  i was too young.

but rock bottom is the best place to be in because you can't get any lower.  and because i took one step...and then another...and another.  and here i am today, looking back down the mountain (though still far from the summit)...looking back at the mess i used to be...and, by god's grace, i stand here today grateful, humble, and sober.

for those of you reading who struggle with addictions: may you quit fighting those who you love so much...namely god...and take a small step up that mountain.  it's beyond worth it.  the view up there is far better then where you're at right now.  and may you have the courage to do it before you hit rock bottom.

and for those reading who have a loved one(s) struggling with addiction: may you have the courage to love...the courage to let go...and the courage to trust.

much love.

reflections from the mountain top

last week i went up into the mountains for a couple of days of rest.  it was marvelous.  i've never really been a huge fan of the mountains and hiking.  i'm not sure why.  but as i sat in the impressive forrest surrounded by rivers, mountains, trees, and animals i was overwhelmed with this thought:

"how could i ever doubt god?"  

it was awesome.  and now i love the mountains.  ha.

one day i rode a four wheeler up james peak.  a little ways up, i decided i'd park and hike up the mountain a little bit to get a better view.

i looked up the impressive mountain, picked a decent lookout spot, and started climbing.  as i climbed i talked with god out loud and sang some songs.  and i got to my spot.  it was beautiful.  i stopped for a few minutes to catch my breath and look around.  it was gorgeous.  

but i looked up and saw another spot that looked better.  so, i kept going.

(a lil video i shot up there...notice the striving and exhaustion, haha)

i got to that spot.  and it was beautiful.  but i saw another spot.  so i kept going.  and kept going.  eventually, i reached the summit.  and nearly killed myself (i had no water or food...sorry paula).  

and as i neared the summit of the mountain...it hit me.  this hike resembles a part of my life.  i work so hard to get to one spot...and then i see another...so i work hard to get there.  and i forget to bathe in the beauty of where i'm at...of where god has me right now.  and i forget to stop striving and trust god.    

this is kinda vague...so let me give an example from my life:

summit, james peak

when i was on the world race, i couldn't wait to get home and start seminary and my career in ministry.  it was a dream and i got there!

and now, a couple of years later, i'm striving for the next season: december...when i graduate seminary and continue my journey in ministry.

i'm forgetting to bathe in the moment of right now.  forgetting to look around and thank god for where he has me right now.  

or this hike can be similar to the comparison game i play a lot.  i strive so hard to be like someone else (richer, stronger, better...the list goes on and on) and when i get there...i realize there's someone else that's a bit higher...or a bit richer, or a bit skinner, or a bit stronger, or a bit whatever.

what if we just stopped?  looked around.  bathed in god's goodness.  and thanked him for where we are right now.  what if we stopped striving and stopped comparing?  how much better would our lives be?  how much more attentive to god would we be in our present situations?  how much more content would we be?  because, let's face it, god has blessed us each incredibly.  right where we are.  right now.

may we all stop striving and comparing.  may we each rest firmly in who we are and who god created us to be.  and may we be gentle with ourselves.  

much love.

a not so "straight" perspective on singleness

dan here.  my blog on singleness blew up way beyond my imagination.  when i wrote it i knew it wasn't all encompassing but didn't really care...and figured my other four readers didn't either.  i was wrong.  of the many areas i missed, two are: marriage doesn't "fix" life and the "calling" of singleness.

my new denver church co-worker and friend, stephen redden, posted a response blog "not single" which was fantastic.  it blew mine outta the water.  if you haven't, you should read it. 

i received an interesting comment on the blog from a dear and close friend (signed "another single christian brother").  my friend is attracted to guys, not women.  so, i invited him to blog on his unique views on singleness (below).  it's fantastic, i hope you'll read along. 

enjoy.  
_______________

Singleness. I feel like everyone is talking about it, so I decided to join in on the conversation. I’ll admit though, I have a unique perspective on this issue. I am a Christian guy in my mid-20's who is not attracted to women – I am attracted to guys. Hear me out. I think I might offer a different view on the issues of singleness and marriage.

First, I firmly believe that marriage is designed by God to be between one man and one woman for life. Given my own situation, with a desire to be true to God’s word, I have chosen to live a life of purity. I’m not interested in “easy,” I’m interested in pleasing God. So really, I’m no different in that respect than what God expects of every person who is single. But, I feel like to many, maybe most people, "singleness" is considered just a waiting area where we can be happy and content but never truly fulfilled until that "special someone" comes into our life. Marriage is the goal, and that period of singleness is just part of the journey. But what if that is not the right perspective?

photo via

I can’t help but feel like marriage is a measure of success not only in our culture, but also in our churches. If you never get married you are looked at differently, thought of as weird, somehow considered “less than”. I believe that God created us as relational beings who want and need intimacy. One way that is fulfilled is through marriage. In fact, Jesus chose the occasion of a wedding to perform his first miracle. But even though marriage is a gift of God, can we really claim that marriage is a promise from God for all of us? Can we simply “walk through” our single lives waiting for God to fulfill a promise that he never really made?

I suggest that we broaden our view. Maybe we are first to live our lives married to Christ (Matt 6:33). Then if one day God brings a spouse into our life, that’s awesome; if he doesn’t then that’s awesome too. After all, Paul was never married, but who wouldn’t want the kind of walk with God that Paul experienced, living right smack in the middle of God’s will? If the measure of success is whether one gets married, then where does that leave someone like me who may never get married? What are my biblical options? Paul went so far as to claim that singleness actually can be a gift (1 Cor 7:7). So if you’re currently single let me challenge you not put so much pressure on yourself to find a spouse. If it’s your heart’s desire to be married, then be honest with God about it. If not, that’s cool too. God knows your heart. But I’m asking you to dare to pray bolder than that! Pray that you may know Christ in a deeper, more intimate way – that he may be the true desire of your heart (Psalms 42:1-2). And don’t merely pursue God to get what you desire. Purpose in your heart, and have the faith to believe, that whatever he desires for you will be your deepest source of fulfillment.

And if you’re married, remember your single brothers and sisters. When you got married you didn’t graduate to the “next level” of fellowship. While your spouse will always comes first – after all you are now one – God desires us to live in fellowship and community together as one body of believers in Christ without putting each other in categories like “singles” or “marrieds”. As a married couple, Pricilla and Aquila, partnered with a single guy, Paul. Likewise, let’s continue to strengthen and encourage each other on this journey of faith. We’re strongest when we are bound together pursuing a common purpose.

Sincerely – Another single Christian brother.

singleness

one of the coolest parts of working at new denver church is that i get to sit down and talk with a lotta young adults.  i love it.  there are a lot of things that we talk about: life, faith, singleness, jesus, singleness, work, singleness, and singleness (i'm only slightly exaggerating).

if i'm honest, i've done an okay job with my own singleness.  until recently.  i was talking to a friend the other day, matt patch, and we were talking about life as a 29 year old single guy.  he suggested that it's harder to be single now because we're both 29, staring the big 3-0 in the face.  i think he's right.

i think he's right for a lot of reasons: there's some societal pressures...some pressures from my friends/family (even if they're unspoken).  most crippling of all, though, are the pressures i put on myself.  after all, i'm 29...i should be married by now...i should be well on my way towards a house in the suburbs, with 2.3 children, and a white picket fence.  i should, i should, i should.    

and sometimes i beat myself up for wanting a relationship...like it's not something i should want.  

photo via

but a lot of us are like that.  sometimes it's hard being single.  if you're 18, it's hard.  if you're 39, it's hard.  single is single...and it's hard (again, sometimes).  and often times we beat ourselves up over it...we beat ourselves up for wanting a relationship.

but there's a reason for why it's hard.  there's a reason why we want a relationship.  i think it helps us understand what we were born for...because the bible tells us that we were born for intimacy.  we were born for intimacy with god, with others, and with ourselves.

we were born with this strong and innate desire for intimacy.  so, it's no wonder we single folk long to be in a significant relationship, right?  it's no wonder why married folk desire to have deep friendships.  it's biblical.  it's adam and eve.  it's our parents.  it's our friends.  it's all around us.

that said, it's in this longing for intimacy that many of us can turn to desperation and get in trouble.  we settle: we date someone we know we're not supposed to, we let the desire for intimacy encompass our thoughts, we turn to unhealthy dependancies with friends (same sex and opposite sex), we open the computer screen, we "act out" sexually...the list goes on and on.

but, as one of my favorite pastors says:

"purity paves the way to intimacy"

it's in our singleness that we have the ability to prepare ourselves for future intimacy.  instead of turning to unhealthy desperation, we have the ability to turn to healthy relationships, purity, and friends.  

and guess what?  it's okay to want to be in a relationship.  there's nothing wrong with it.  let's stop beating ourselves up for longing to be in an intimate relationship.  that's how god created us.  let's just embrace it, call it what it is, and move on.

so, as we walk through singleness together...let's stay pure and not get desperate.  and it's there that we'll find true intimacy...with god, with others, and with ourselves.  and pray that your future spouse is walking the same path.  

much love.

(this post inspired while listening to this song)

______________________________

##7/26 update##

wow, i've been floored by the popularity of this post...maybe i shoulda proof read it one more time or used caps.  oops.  thanks for reading and thanks for spreading the good word.

as i wrote this i recognized it didn't address the struggles that married folk face.  i'm alright with that.  i still love married folk but just didn't want this to be a 3 page blog.  and it's perfect because my friend and co-worker, stephen redden, just posted a response blog titled: "not single."  it's so good.  check it out.   

aurora shootings

i was up late last night.  i haven't been sleeping too well recently.

and last night, at about 2AM, i saw a news flash about the shooting via twitter.  being the nerdy former cop that i am, i turned on the police scanner and sat in disbelief as i heard aurora PD talk about the shooting.

the scene commander started asking for victim counts from each hospital.  10 at one.  9 at another.  20 at another.  bodies in the theater.  i sat in disbelief.  the count was around 40 shot. unreal. (currently the count is: 71 total shot, 12 dead)

photo via

this morning i woke up to a buncha of texts wondering if i was okay (thanks, by the way).  yup, i'm fine.  physically.  but, if i'm honest, emotionally...i'm kinda struggling.

as i've thought about it, i've realized that i'm struggling because this is such a tragic event...that hits in my backyard...again.  10+ years ago i sat in an aurora high school classroom when i heard about columbine.  like then, i don't have a personal connection with anyone who was shot (that i know of anyways...victim names haven't been released yet).   i know a couple of the fire/cops who showed up (to both)...know a couple people who were in the theater or library...but it doesn't really affect me personally.

but it's still hard to hear about.  it affects me.  it affects us.
perhaps it's because i'm forced to face reality: this is a jacked up world we live in.  violence, murder, death.   there's no way to explain it.

or maybe it's a sense of helplessness.  i want so badly to do something, to help someone.  but, honestly, there's nothing i can really do.

maybe it's something else.  honestly, i'm not sure, there's just a lotta confusion.  and that's normal.

but i've come to this: prayer.  i've been praying for everyone i can think of: victims, family members, friends, first responders, others who are feeling the way i am (just heavy)...and for the suspect and his family and friends.  we all need the grace of god right now.  for real.

it's been quite the summer here in colorado: two murdered cops, wildfires, and now this.  please say a prayer for our beautiful state.  we need it.

much love.

##update, 7/21##

news of more victims are coming out.  i don't have any direct relationship with any of them...but lots of friends do.  so sad.

if i'm honest: watching the 24 hour news coverage of the shootings is like an addiction.  i don't wanna watch but find myself captivated by it.  i've literally had to make the decision to turn the TV off (or turn on friday night lights, haha)...and get back into "normal" life routines.

check back tomorrow...i'll be posting a blog about what i learned as a cop from columbine, platte canyon, and the theater.  in the mean time, hug a first responder.

##update 7/22##
decided not to publish the blog on past shootings, felt uneasy about it. ml.

july update

life these days is good.  and i mean that.  not just in the, "how's your day?"..."good" sorta way.  i mean it, it's good.  that doesn't mean it's easy...but it is indeed good.

and this is an update for all you who have journeyed along with me over the last few years...either through email, blogs, monthly updates, whatever...this is for you.  thanks for checkin in!   

me, bro, mom and hudson!

family
my family is doing really well.  as you most certainly know, life in the snyder family proudly revolves around our newest addition, my nephew hudson!  i say this a lot, and i know i'm biased, but he's adorable.  i absolutely love to see him, hold him, play with him and my heart melts every time i think of him.  he turns 14 months old in a few days...time flies!  his parent's...my brother, steve and his wife rachael...are wonderful!  i love watching them raise hudson, it's really special.  with the amount of wildfires (and fires in englewood), my brother's been busy, busy (thanks to all you who have been praying for him)!  speaking of special: it's so neat to watch my parents with hudson.  i've always heard being a grandparent is special and from the looks of it...it sure seems that way!  

work
work keeps me busy!  i'm still working at new denver church and absolutely love it.  i've been given some really cool opportunities and have felt myself grow in so many ways over the last couple of years.  here are my main areas of work: young adults, discipleship, and outreach (and a whole buncha other things, haha).  if you didn't hear, i was given the privilege of preaching a couple of weeks ago.  it went really well and i loved teaching.  which, if i'm honest, was odd because i'm not a big fan of public speaking!  but i loved it and hope to do it more in the future!

me helping facilitate a FAQ night at NDC
photo via

i feel incredibly blessed to have been given the opportunity to work with such a great team at ndc.  seriously, the pastors are amazing men who i really look up to.  they're great and really believe in me.  it's an honor.  but even outside of the pastoral staff, the others i work with are amazing.  both the other "staff" folk and the volunteers who make ndc run.  it's an incredible team...i don't say that lightly, they're incredible.  i really sense that big things are happening at ndc...so. thank you for all of your prayers for our church.

if you didn't hear, i actually took an additional job a few months ago.  i was hired to manage an apartment complex in denver.  it's been an interesting transition...the apartment is interesting to say the least.  it's not the "nicest" apartment in denver but i've really grown to appreciate my neighbors and see it as a huge blessing!  so, obviously i moved out of steve and rachael's house in littleton and moved closer to downtown denver.  it's a much more central location and very close to most of my meeting locations and the church.  overall, it's great!

school

photo via

seminary is rapidly coming to an end!  wow, it's hard to believe it's almost been two years!  if all goes as planned, which it should, i'll be graduating in december!  because so many of you ask: i'll be graduating with a masters degree in pastoral counseling.  but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves...i'm still finishing up a big internship this summer (through seminary/ndc) and have 12 hours and a final comprehensive exam to tackle in the fall.  graduation will be bittersweet: i'm ready to be done with school but i really do love school!  can someone say phd??

future
what will i be doing in january, 2013??  that's the million dollar question...or the one i get asked a lot these days!  over the last couple of years, it's been my hope, prayer, and dream to continue my ministry here in denver.  the "perfect" scenario has me continuing my role at new denver church...in a more full-time capacity.  but honestly, as ministry (and life) goes, all of that is up in the air...nothing is set in stone.  so, if you don't mind...please shoot a prayer or two up for my future!  

i think that's it...thank you so much for reading through this update.  if you're ever traveling through denver...or if you live here...please call me or email me if you'd like to get together!

i'll end with a blessing from the bible (paul's letter to the thessalonians).  i prayed this for each of you reading:

"may the god of peace make you whole and holy, may you be kept safe in body, heart, and mind, and thus ready for the presence.  god has called you and will not fail you." 

much love.

telfy, danny boy, and redemption

last night, as i was standing in the pews at new denver church singing, i was struck by an incredible thought.  god is good.  and his redemption is available to all of us.  and his love never fails.  oh, and i'm thankful for friends like chris telfer .

telf and i in college, on his b-day...nice stache, brah!

it struck me last night because telfer was leading worship at NDC, the church i work at.  normally, notta big deal.  but last night it was powerful.

it was powerful because telfer and i used to party together.  we met in undergrad, where we worked at an apartment complex together.  we were instant friends.  and we loved having a good time together, usually under the intoxication of a foreign substance.  for real though, we have some hilarious stories: stealing cats, sausages in the model apartment, pondering schemes to break into the liquor store on sunday's (they used to be closed on sundays in colorado..don't worry, we never did), changing driveshafts in the driveway.  the list goes on for awhile.

after i graduated, i moved back to denver.  shortly after i moved, telfer went through a series of life changing events and gave his life to jesus.  he turned down weather forecaster jobs (think 6PM nightly news weatherman) to follow god's plan (i remember watching the nightly news here in denver and seeing telfer on 9-news commercials, haha).

he gave it all up...and went on the world race.  coincidentally, he met his amazing wife jenny on the race, too.

though life happened and chris and i drifted apart for a few years...we'd talk from time to time and i always admired his life from afar.  and when life got tough, he was one of the first i called.  i told him i was thinking about going on the world race (honesty timeout: i thought chris' life change came from going on the world race, not jesus...haha, oopsie).  i decided the race wasn't appropriate yet and continued working my cop job.  

telf and i at ndc...thanks for the pic, jenny!

then i had a life changing experience with jesus.  my life changed.  a couple months later, i went to chris and jenny's wedding.  i was strategically placed at a table with 3-4 world race alumni (thanks god.  shout out: sean smith).

i left the wedding reconsidering the race again.  a few days later, while chris and jenny were on their honeymoon, i left him a voicemail letting him know i was flying to world race training camp in atlanta.

in month three of my world race, chris and jenny flew to romania so chris could lead worship at a world race conference.  as chris and i sat in a cabin in brasav chattin about life, i was brought to tears.  the tears came from thinking about how much god had changed both of us.  gone were the days of partying and searching for satisfaction that we'd never truly find.  enter the days of giving our life to follow jesus christ.  and god had brought us across the world to worship together.  his plans are perfect...and his love never fails.

over the last few years, chris and jenny have been all over the world...and spent the last year or so in houston.  jenny's pregnant (congrats!!)...and they moved to denver a couple of weeks ago.

and last night, as chris sang this song...i was moved to tears.  because, as chris sang...i realized that the lyrics to the song couldn't be more true.  god's love never fails.  never.  and i'm not alone.  ever.  and god will even use guys like "telfy" and "danny boy" in his kingdom.  redemption is beautiful.

here's to you chris: thanks for being an incredible example in my life.  you're a great man who i deeply admire.

and here's to you god: thanks for loving me.  and thanks for your love that never fails.

the.denver.nuggets

before you leave...this is about basketball, obviously, but there's more.

if you didn't know...i'm a pretty big sports fan.  okay, i'm a huge fan.  and i'm loyal to my hometown teams: rockies, nuggets, broncos (oh and: rapids, mammoth, avalanche, runs).  if you were stalking me last night, you woulda seen me going straight crazy at the nuggets game.  jumping outta my seat, waiving my rally towel, screaming, booing kobe bryant (and secretly admiring his talent), texting trash talk with my boy colby.  i was a mad man.  

but here's the deal.  it reminded me of month two on the world race.  that dude i was talkin trash to, colby, preached a semon in romania based off of the concept/idea of not being conformed to the world.  in that sermon he talked about about his love for the lakers and kobe bryant...and how he was so passionate about them...and how he talked about kobe and the lakers all the time...to anyone who would listen.  

but he wouldn't talk that way about jesus.    

me too.  if i'm honest, i get more passionate, excited, crazy about the nuggets, rockies (it's been a few years ;), and broncos then i do about jesus.  why is that?  

why, when i look around me do i see people passionate about so many things of this world...but not jesus?  for real.  don't discredit this.  john, in 1 john 2:17 says, "the world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of god lives forever."   

i get it.  you see, the nuggets season will end soon (hopefully not too soon), the rockies will probably end under .500 this year, and the broncos picked up some dude who can't look side-to-side.  your car will breakdown.  you'll eventually retire.  your passion will dwindle.  you'll breakup.  you'll start looking old.  you'll graduate.    

but jesus' love for you and me never fails.  it doesn't pass away.  it's never-ending.  

why don't we share this good news with other people with the same burning passion?
  

for real.  i'm not talking about standing out on the corner with the bullhorn...or jesus juking every person you meet.  but i wonder what it would look like if all the worldly things became our secondary passion...in the background...and jesus became our primary passion?

think about it (and go nuggets).

much love. 

character

this week at our new denver men's bible study we talked about character.  what does it mean to be a man of character (or a woman)?  we tossed around some ideas of what we thought it meant to be a man of character.

you know:

• honesty
• courage
• doing what is right when no one's watching
• love
• patience 
• surrounding yourself with other people of high character (though this was debated for awhile)
• keeping your word (let your yes be yes and your no be no)

photo via

we spent some time talking about other men of character.  like, who from the bible had upright character.  interestingly enough, most men we look to, outside of jesus, had some major flaw in their character.  they weren't perfect.  just like you and me.  i'm not sure about you, but that gives me some hope!! 

it's funny though.  it wasn't until the end of our group that we recognized we missed one really big trait of character.  servanthood.  jesus modeled that one pretty well for us, right?  why do we forget that?  is it that it shows weakness to serve others?  is it that we're too me focused?  or is it that it's just too hard?  

who can we choose to serve this week?  because, as humans, often times serving is a choice.  if we stripped away all the niceness of ourselves it goes something like this: "i love the idea of serving...but only if it's super convenient to me.  only if it's easy.  only if it fits into my schedule."  

i'm just gonna throw this out there: working on our character, trying to be more like christ isn't easy, it's not convenient, it's not easy.  apart from a miracle, which is possible, it's a choice. 

take a look around your life.  where can you step in to opportunities to serve?  to model what jesus modeled so well for us...will you consider making the choice to serve?   

much love.  

social media fast

for a little bit now, a few friends and i have been "choosing" to be present when with each other.  in other words, we choose to not text, tweet, update, draw, or whatever else you do on a smart phone when we're in each other's company.  we're trying our best to be present and have real and meaningful conversations/relationships.

sometimes we're good at it.  other times we're not.  but we're good at reminding each other.  haha.

friday night, a bunch of us from new denver church were hanging out after our softball games.  one of our pastors, norton, was hanging with us and the topic of twitter came up.  norton, who has intentionally stayed off of twitter/facebook and rocks a text/call only cellphone, challenged us.  he challenged us to give up social media for a month.  there was a lotta push back.  you know, we jokingly called him an "old crotchety man," "old school," or stuck in the "dinosaur ages."  i jokingly joined in on the push back.

photo credit: gethiredfast.com

to my surprise, norton affirmed that social media is good, that there are benefits from it...to a certain extent.  but he also made the letgimate point that we're not as intentional with our relationships now that we have social media.

like i said, at first i kinda pushed back.  but as he was saying it, i realized i resonated with him.  i realized that it's a lot easier to shoot a text, update, tweet rather then pick up the phone and call someone or to sit down with them over coffee, lunch, whatever.

so, i decided to give it a go.  a month without twitter, facebook, instagram.  i mean it's not a big deal. but it kind of is.

here's what i felt as i decided to give it up:
-relief.  weird, but i felt relieved that i didn't always have to be checking/updating/tweeting/liking, etc.
-worry.  admittedly, i've worried that i'll "miss out" on something or that i won't be "in the know."

i'm 24 hours in to the "fast" so it's too soon to make any solid analysis of it.  that said, i'm kind of embarrassed to admit that i've definitely, out of habit/routine, pulled my phone out to check some piece of social media on several occasions.  and while working on my computer, i've definitely typed "f-a-c-e-b-o-o-k" in my browser bar a few times.  it's habit.  weird.

soooo...now that i'll gain at least an hour a day...who want's to be intentional with me?  ;)

much love.

(and the jury is still out on whether or not blogging is social media.  writing/blogging is an "outlet" for me so i will do it from time to time, just not "obsess" over comments, stats, etc.)

three years sober: back to the roots

the other day, in anticipation of today (my three year sobriety date), i wrote this really cool blog about my story and how i first started going to AA and how i never thought i'd make it a day without drinking and how god truly rescued me out of the mess i was in.  but i think it missed the point.

so, let's throw all the crap out of the window...shall we?

today i'm reminded of two basic things that i learned at AA (that i wish remembered all the time!!):  

radical honesty

i learned to be brutally honest about my flaws and failures.    

radical dependency

i know i cannot make it through another day without the help of my friends and without the help of god.

if we accept both of these foundations, we WILL experience true life change.  by god's grace, i'm a living example of that!  three years ago, i hit rock bottom, thought i'd never be able to quit, thought i'd never be able to change my life.  yet, through these basic (but difficult and profound) steps, my life has radically changed!  

may we all incorporate radical honesty and dependency into all areas of our lives.  and as a mentor reminds me on a frequent basis: "make war with your sin...not peace."

1 timothy 1:15-17

much love.

NIV bible app review

in exchange for this short blog, i received a free copy of the new NIV bible app for my ipad from zondervan.

here's my pro/con list of the app.

pro:

• interactive maps, graphs, videos
• study notes in the side bar (that slide down as you read)
• able to see where other key vocab words are used in other sections of scripture
• able to highlight and take notes (which i don't use)

con:

• expensive
• they tried to cut word counts in the study notes by using abbreviations...they're confusing
• it's kind of hard to navigate/find your way around

conclusion: 

if you're into the electronic version of the bible (i go back and forth), then this is totally worth the 26ish dollars.  it's way cheaper then a print version of the study bible (about $95).  and it's way smaller...no one want's to carry a huge/clunky bible around...unless you intend on beating people over the head with it.  haha.  so, buy it.  

much love.         

my firsthand experience with kony 2010

by now you've probably heard of joseph kony and invisible children (IC).  there's a lotta talk/drama circulating about the 30 minute video done by IC.  despite all that, this is a real problem...and kony does need to be stopped.  

but i don't really wanna get into that...what i'd like to share with you is a small portion of my experience in northern uganda while on the world race a couple of years ago.  i spent two months (on and off) in northern uganda, the area that was most impacted by kony and his LRA army.  

while we worked directly with the victims of kony/LRA for the two months, i vividly remember spending an evening with nancy and andrew the most.  nancy and andrew are just two of the thousands of children severely impacted by kony and his army.  we sat in their mud brick house and prayed together and listened to them tell stories (while drinking coca-cola and listening to a huge rain storm roll in...when the storm arrived, it was so fierce that i actually got super scared).  as a result of that night, my life will never be the same.  

a few days later, as i sat to type a blog about the experience in a tiny coffee shop in gulu, uganda, i was at a loss for words (it was a common experience for me on the race; i'd experience something beautiful and not be able to articulate it for my readers).  anyways, here's what i came up with (like my last blog, this is long but worth the read):  

"i spent the last 18 days or so in northern uganda...splitting the time between teams in lira and gulu.  i sat down this afternoon to try and put it all into words.  i tried to describe the pain and suffering the men and women of these communities have endured.  but more importantly, i tried to describe the faith that these people have through ALL of it.  i struggled to paint the appropriate picture but my friend, halley power, did an incredible job...so below is her latest blog titled "children of war."  thank you halley!!  

(beginning of halley's blog) 

'When I was twelve years old, my main concern was surviving middle school. My mind was focused on things like impressing my crush, having my own phone line,and getting my first kiss. I think back to those years and remember how awkward I was. Life was tough on all of us at that age, right? So I thought.

In my last blog, I introduced you to Nancy. Now I'd like to share her story with you.

When Nancy was twelve, her concept of struggle was totally different than mine. In 2003, she was abducted from her home at night, along with 9 other siblings and cousins. The rebels targeted her home after being informed of two things. First of all, a teacher (her father-Santo-also introduced in my last blog) lived there, which to them meant he worked for the government. Second, they were informed that there would be many children there. The rebels came to the house around 11:30 that night. They threatened the bomb the entire house if they weren't allowed in, so the mother opened the door. Santo had left that very day to stay at the university, so he wasn't at home. If the rebels had come one day earlier or later, he would have been killed. Everyone was tied together and taken away. Nancy said she was cryinghysterically, but they threatened to kill anyone who cried. The rebels took all of the belongings from the house and dragged the children into the night. The mother was dropped off and allowed to return home because she had Robin (a small baby at the time). Out of the ten children taken from the home that continued with the rebels, the youngest was six. The commander told them that they wanted Santo to pursue them so that he could be killed. The kids were smeared with a black vasaline-type substance so that they could be identified by other rebels in the event of an escape. This marker meant they would be killed on site. They then began their walk to Sudan.

Andrew is Nancy's brother. I've also gotten very close to him. He has a large part in this story, as well. Andrew was ten when the rebels came. The ten children were separated into different groups. Andrew was with some of the other children, but not Nancy. Andrew had a special job. He was basically one of the commander's personal slave. He carried his equipment, gun, and food. They were given very little (if anything) to eat most of the time. Typically, two cups of beans was split between his group of twenty other abductees. The rebels had no regard for human life. If they came across a river that needed to be crossed, someone would be pushed in to gage the depth, which usually resulted in drowning. They were frequently beaten by canes for being "lazy". They were walking to Sudan to train to become soldiers. Yes, I do mean walking to Sudan. At one point, Andrew said he was too tired to keep going. His feet, ankles, and legs were swollen greatly. Running on barely any food, he had enough. He sat down and refused to keep walking. Keep in mind he is ten years old at this time. The commanders threaten to kill him if he doesn't continue. He tells them that they'll just have to kill him because he can't do it anymore. An older abductee (around thirty) had a similar response with exhaustion. Without thought, they killed him with a machete. Andrew guesses they let him live because he was the coveted luggage carrier. He finally got up and continued walking. 


Both Nancy and Andrew have a similar escape story, even though they happened two months apart. Government troops ambushed the rebels. Planes flew overhead and dropped bombs. Soldiers on the ground fired guns. The commander that Andrew was tied to was shot in the chest. They both fell to the ground. Andrew grabbed the knife from the rebel's waistbelt and cut himself free. He crawled on the ground until he escaped the gun fire. A soldier eventually found him and took him to safety. In the chaos of the battle Nancy encountered, she ran as fast as she could into the bush. She ran and ran until she finally found help.

Andrew was gone for one year and one month. He was the first to return home. Nancy was gone for one year and three months. Out of the ten that were taken, only six survived. Their sister was killed by a government bomb during an attack. Casualties was not a concern. Three cousins died as well, but I'm not sure of the details.Andrew thinks he was the only person to survive the day he escaped. He said, "God protected me...because I was tied to the commander who was shot, I fell on the ground. The bullets went above me. God must have a special plan for my life". Wow.

If you've seen the movie Blood Diamond, you remember the scene where the African father finds his young son who was abducted and turned into a child soldier. The son doesn't recognize his father. I always thought this part was dramatized in the movie. Who could forget their own father? Andrew could. He didn't rememberpeople. He didn't remember how to have normal conversations. He was used to only following commands. War was all he knew. It took time, but he was rehabilitated and is doing wonderful. He's so intelligent and mature for his age.

Nancy is doing well also. She is nineteen and just passed the exams to continue her education. She wants to be a doctor. She sings in the youth worship group and has been at church almost every day since we've been here. I'm really going to miss my friend. Santo, Nancy, Andrew, and the rest of the family have been so hospitable. We spent time at their home again this week and it was amazing, just like last time (refer to previous blog).

These are faces of Northern Uganda. This nation has been plagued with the longest running war of Africa's history. And it's been personal. Every single person we've encountered was affected. It's their story. And there are so many. These stories are no longer just stories. Nancy and Andrew are representations of the mllions ofpeople that  have endured through this conflict. They've all been through so much, but they have hope. They have joy. Last night there was worship time at the church. The last song they sang was one I'd heard before...but never in this light. "Sing for joy to God our strength." I've been in services in which we sang this song. For these people, it has so much more meaning. God has been their strength. And he is their joy. In the midst of the tragedies they've faced, they latched onto the hope of Christ. They glow with joy. Glow. And it's contagious. They give me hope.

If we call to him he will answer us
If we run to him he will run to us
If we lift our hands he will lift us up
Come now praise his name, all you saints of God

Sing for joy to God our strength
Sing for joy to God our strength

Draw near to him, he is here with us
Give him your love, he's in love with us 
He will heal our hearts, he will cleanse our hands
If we rend our hearts, he will heal our land.'"

god is love, nothing is impossible.